Sunday, May 1, 2011

again... its been awhile.

Hey there. i know, its been awhile since ive written anything. ha. sorry.
So, as some of you know, its been a crazy past few months. i havent had time to breathe. let alone blog. I moved yesterday into a house of girls, again. i needed to be with girls the entire time. i moved into a much bigger room with a walk in closet (which is actually now full of CRAP because of all my moving boxes, one day these will all be cleaned up!! i need more sterilites!) i literally walked in the door, saw the house and the room that i am now in, saw the closet and was SOLD. I signed the papers, went back to the house i was living in, and packed it all, and moved all the stuff over and unpacked in about 6 hours. yea. wow. im still amazed and the adrenaline rush is finally slowing down!! i didnt know i could move all my CRAP over in about 6 hours. its just amazing, i so was praying about being with girls. the Lord knows what i need. and he was more than happy to provide. the girls are great. theres a family of 4, and then 4 girls (2 are m* students). the only thing i need right now is a dresser/bureau. i really would like one that i can paint myself. i am currently having all my clothes in sterilite boxes and i dont like that. i need a dresser, Jesus. thanks.
so yea thats kind of what Jesus has been teaching me lately. about having this ridiculously mustard seed sized faith-- but the fact that its a tiny seed, it can produce a much bigger harvest. when we have the faith just to say, "HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS. AND HE HAS THAT MATTER IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND. HIS GREAT LOVE COVERS IT ALL AND WE CAN REST IN THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS AND HE IS TAKING CARE OF IT...." wow! wow wow wow!! what a joy!
what really has been huge lately in my life is Jesus' perfect sacrifice, this sacrifice that Abba made for us who were broken, abused, messed up, addicted to drugs, angry, alone.. he made the sacrifice for those who would never accept his perfect gift of love, too. those who outright reject JESUS, are still loved. its incredible what I have as a free gift in Jesus, yet I sometimes completely flip it around and say how much I am hated and how alone I am--- yet Jesus is completely overtaken by love for me--- He holds my world in His hands. He holds my tears in His hands even though i sometimes outright rejected Him.He CHOOSES to forget my faults and my guilt. and he still calls me His!! wow!! that truth overwhelms me to my core. i am so thankful for a merciful God who is completely and desperately in love with me, literally to the point of death!! I love that He is planning our wedding, knowing that just about anything He does will knock me off my feet! i cant wait to see Him face to face.
so anyways :) thats whats up. just the usual, ya know. work. i leave for the ANC Womans retreat in a bit less than 2 weeks and i am STOKED. completely STOKED. I dont really know what I am looking for in this but i do know that i need some beach time for real. i have been aching for a beach for about 2 years now...
Jesus, you are so good. i love you.